It was an honor to sit down with former music executive Shanti Das about what inspired her shift to create a purpose-driven nonprofit called Silence the Shame Incorporated. As she tells her story, you will discover that the roots of this organization were planted in her childhood and take root after a series of events took place many years later. Shanti is based in Georgia, but her work reverberates throughout the country through Silence the Shame and her podcast, the MIBO Show, which you will hear about. Read the transcript below or tune in as we have a powerful discussion on mental health, purpose work, and what matters in life.
Please note that National Silence the Shame Day is May 5, 2024, and Silence the Shame and Microsoft will also launch an app on that day.
Corynne Corbett (00:12):
Hi everybody. I’m Corynne Corbett, editorial director of Black Health Matters, and I have the pleasure of chatting today with Shanti Das, founder of Silence, the Shame, and host of the Mibo Show. And we are going to be talking about a really important topic today, which is mental health and wellness. And we’re going to talk today about why Shanti started, silence the shame, and talk today about the importance of speaking about the importance of mental health and wellness and speaking up about it, and stop keeping all of this to ourselves. So welcome Shanti.
Shanti Das (01:09):
Thank you Corynne, for having me. I’m so grateful to you and Deidre and everybody at Black Health Matters. You all do a phenomenal job and it’s an honor to be on your show today. Alright, thank
Corynne Corbett (01:18):
You. So tell me about your background and then what led you to start your nonprofit Silence of Shame
(01:26):
SSS.
Shanti Das (01:28):
Absolutely. So my background is in the music industry and entertainment. I got my start in the early nineties working at LaFace Records, helping to promote and market artists like Outkast Usher, TLC, Toni, Braxton, few household names. And I had a pretty great career over a 20 year span, actually working at a label, but over 25 years doing live events and marketing artists like Johnny Gill and Kelly Price and others after I left the label side. But the reason why I started silence to Shame Corynne is because I went through a lot of my own emotional health and wellness issues, particularly stress related, depression related when I was working in the business in the 2000 decade. But I didn’t really know how to deal with it in terms of my stressors. I wasn’t going to therapy, I didn’t have healthy ways to cope. And so I ended up quitting and walking away from my job in 2010 and came back home to Atlanta.
(02:32):
And then in 2014, my best friend took her own life and that kind of sent me on a downward spiral. And so all of the other stressors and unresolved trauma that I was dealing with came to a head. And I also think it’s important to mention that when I was just seven months old, my dad died by suicide. So this was something that had been kind of this cloud hanging over our family for a very long time. So once I got the help that I needed, I started just openly speaking to friends, family, excuse me, anyone that would listen about what I had gone through and how I was on this journey to silence my own shame. And so started a hashtag, and then the organization was formed and we got our 5 0 1 C3. And here we are seven, eight years later and we exist to educate and empower communities around mental health and wellness. And so I consider myself a mental health advocate and we support Black and brown communities and the work that we do and ultimately the community at large and really just want to help erase stigma. And we look at ourselves as that step before therapy because there is still so much stigma, particularly in the Black community, which being a Black woman, I just find that a lot of us still need the support but are ashamed and embarrassed to go and seek help.
Corynne Corbett (03:52):
And I agree with you. I come from a family of first preachers generation two generations ago, preachers current generation, six therapists in my family, six therapists in my family. But still there is serious stigma around it. But at the same time, we see so many people dying by suicide because it’s not taking your own life. You are choosing to die by suicide. And there are young people doing this, so we cannot ignore this. This is an epidemic. So we need to talk about this because there are children doing this. Who,
Shanti Das (04:52):
And lemme say, it’s interesting you said dying by suicide because a lot of times in our community, we’ll say committed suicide. And I stopped saying that once I learned it denotes a criminal act. And I would also tend to say that sometimes people aren’t choosing, in my opinion, Corynne because they aren’t in their right frame of mind. Exactly. So they’re dying by suicide. But I didn’t want to die even taking myself, for example, I didn’t choose to die necessarily. I just couldn’t stop those thoughts in my head. So, in all fairness to the suffering people, sometimes it feels like a choice, but then it’s uncontrollable on our end. And so we either need medical support or intervention with trauma therapy and that sort of thing to really help shift our thoughts in the narrative.
Corynne Corbett (05:36):
Right. And so, as I mentioned earlier, I have had a couple of other podcasts, and I have interviewed highly functioning people who are no longer here, Ericka Kennedy and Chesley Krist. Oh wow. So, for me, it is a really eye-opening thing, I will say, to talk to people who are vibrant or seemingly vibrant, who are functioning, who are talented, who are struggling internally, who have issues that still can’t choose an alternative such as that. Right. So, having an organization like yours is a lifeline. It is a very important lifeline. So thank you. And I think that people, so for people who are struggling with the idea of therapy, this is an important step for them.
Shanti Das (07:15):
It is. And so we do a lot of what we call community conversations where we’ll have panel discussions with people in everyday life sharing their lived experiences, mothers, educators, you name it, various backgrounds, talking about some of the stressors and things they deal with. And we also include a lot of really great clinicians, whether they’re psychologists or psychiatrists, right, because psychiatrists are medical doctors that prescribe medication, and psychologists do more talk therapy. And so we try to make sure there is a well-balanced range of voices, if you will, on our panels to provide the best information possible. We also have a heavy emphasis Corin on youth and young adults. So we have these programs geared towards youth that are our Teen Cope clinics, and we provide peer to peer support and informational panels. We also do wellness stations where we give them healthier ways to cope, teaching them how to do their own podcasts like this, art, drawing, or building a bike.
(08:22):
Just different things that they can do to occupy their minds when they’re feeling sad and that sort of thing, building up that resiliency inside of them. We also, Corynne just launched our Silence, the Shame University. It’s a program called Climb Up, specifically geared towards college students. And it’s a six month training program. And we are so proud that we have our first cohort here in the state of Georgia with over 28 college students. And it’s again, teaching them leadership skills, but with a special emphasis on wellbeing. We have our own podcast, a Silence Shame podcast that people can tune into. And then lastly, I’m really excited about May, as you mentioned, is mental health awareness month May 5th. We actually have our own day, May 5th is National Silence Shame Day. So this year on May 5th, we’re going to be pushing the community towards our very own silence shame app that will be available on your iOS phones or Android.
(09:16):
We have partnered with Microsoft to bring this app to the community. Yes, there are a lot of other wonderful apps in the marketplace, but we do hope that people will utilize our app and see it as a place that they can go to and provide encouragement, give mental health literacy so they can learn about some of the mental health challenges and disorders also encourage you to do mindfulness and get active and that sort of thing. So we’ll have a daily dose and meditation inspirations, and we’re going to have videos from different influencers throughout the months that we encourage people to do their own little five minute, 10 minute meditations, whatever works for you. So we just want to be able to bring additional resources to our community and it’ll be free on your phones. And so we’re incredibly excited about that. So yeah, we are just trying to do our part to continue to help erase stigma and really build communities and make people in the communities more resilient and have healthier ways to cope.
Corynne Corbett (10:18):
So is your hub primarily in Georgia right now?
Shanti Das (10:23):
It is. We are based out of Atlanta, but we do do national programs when we of course have the funding for it. Just some years ago we did a seven city team mental health tour with Jack and Jill of America. We also, in 2020, we were the mental health charitable partner for the NFL Players Association. So we’re about to apply for another grant with them. So you may see us speaking at events in New York. And for me personally as a mental health advocate, I share my story all around the country as well as some globally. So I’m always putting so shame at the forefront. I just spoke last month in New York at Lincoln Center for Women in hip hop. And so again, but it was about wellness, it was about self-care. Anytime I can find a way to insert myself for so shame and certainly bring the topic to the forefront, I try to answer the call.
Corynne Corbett (11:18):
Yes, yes, yes. I think that’s important. Let’s talk a little bit about the podcast, Mibo Show.
Shanti Das (11:23):
Yeah, so it’s funny, I’ve been this mental health advocate since, again, I mentioned almost taking my own life in 2015, but also I think there’s mental health and then there’s physical health. So I just look at it as health now. So I really try to think of myself as someone that lives Corinne at the intersection of health and culture. So about two, well, let me start here. Five years ago I lost my sister unexpectedly to a blood clot that was a result of a leg injury that she had and the blood clot had formed and she wasn’t aware of it. And it was the first time she had flown. And so there were probably some other underlying things going on. And I think the blood clot led to a stroke and she was gone within 20 minutes to say that was devastating as an understatement.
(12:11):
And then my mother had suffered with Alzheimer’s for about 12, 13 years. And so after my sister passed, I became her sole caregiver watching my mom deal with the Alzheimer’s and being there for her also, she had diabetes and hypertension, and then my brother and now, so it was three siblings now, I mean two siblings. And now I have only one sibling, but my brother suffers with heart disease. And then I, two years ago had my gallbladder removed. So I was like, I really got to also pay attention to a lot of the physical health issues that are happening within my own family that truly, truly plague the Black community. And so I said, I want to start my own company called Ebo, MI for mind, and BO for body. So it’s all about mental and physical wellness. So I launched the Mi Ebo show last year and dedicated it to hip hop 50 and Johnson and Johnson is one of my supporters.
(13:04):
And they provide medical experts for each episode or either a community partner for each episode to talk about which specific therapeutic areas. So I interviewed last season everybody from Mc L to Yo-yo to Charlemagne to Eric, sermon on Heart Health and Roxanne and Shante and I talked about eye health and that sort of thing. So I’m excited about season two, launching on May 1st, and I’m going to have the legendary DJ D. Nice. And we’re talk about Black men’s mental health, and we have Tisha Campbell coming up on this episode, Erica Campbell from Mary Mary. And we’re just in so many more and we’re going to be talking about various health issues either that they’re dealing with or that they’ve seen their family members go through. And so that is why I am just so grateful to you all at Black Health Matters for seeing what I’m doing. Also even just outside of Silence of Shame and really just bringing the conversation about health to the forefront of our community.
Corynne Corbett (14:01):
But I think in terms of what we are both doing, it is about elevating conversations. Number one, looking at what we do as it’s about saving lives. Really what we want to do is saving lives. I come from an editorial background, but I also come from beauty and that’s pretty, that’s cute. You come from music, that’s cute. But really at the end of the day, at the point in which we are in our lives, we really want to do more than things that are cute. We want to do things that are meaningful and purposeful,
Shanti Das (14:42):
Purpose-driven work, to your point in saving lives, saving lives. I’m 53, I’m dealing with menopause. That’s another podcast conversation another day. And so many things are happening to my own body. And I look at my family and the comorbidities that existed within the family, and I’m like, okay, hold up. I really need to pay more attention about what I eat, how I move, what’s going on. And especially working, coming from the music industry, we know that community needs it and I want to be an inspiration to those folks so that while they do have these really rigorous schedules that they are pouring back into their lives mentally and physically.
Corynne Corbett (15:21):
Exactly. Exactly. So as, no, it
Shanti Das (15:25):
Just mind, body, health,
Corynne Corbett (15:27):
Mindbody, health and longevity, those are the things. We encourage all of that and providing information so that we can see people live. Maybe we can be talking about living to a hundred instead.
Shanti Das (15:45):
That’s right. That’s right. Absolutely.
Corynne Corbett (15:50):
What advice do you give, do you have for us to encourage the next generation to be mindful of their mental health?
Shanti Das (16:15):
That’s a great question. I’m sorry. Were you going to No.
Corynne Corbett (16:18):
To be mindful and I guess to be kinder to themselves as well.
Shanti Das (16:24):
It’s funny you say that because that’s how I was going to start with something like that. So thank you Corinne for that question. So my advice to the next generation and being kinder to themselves is first of all, just giving themselves grace. That’s probably a word that the younger folks have heard their moms or grandmoms or pop pops refer to. But it really is something, and it is that kind of unwarranted favor from God. You can give yourself that unwarranted favor, favor that you don’t think you deserve, but that you truly actually deserve. It’s being a little bit more kinder, more gentler walking up. I was speaking last week to a gentleman, Dr. J Barnett, who does a lot of work. He’s a Black male therapist and former NFL player, and he talked about waking up more with a sense of ease instead of just jumping up so quick and putting all that pressure on yourself first thing in the morning.
(17:17):
So for me, I like to wake up and pray, and if that’s not your thing, wake up and do meditation or just wake up and be still. Sometimes there is beauty and stillness. It’s beauty and silence. So you can sit there and process through your feelings before you get your day started. That is eating breakfast in the morning and you don’t have to go and have a full breakfast at IHOP or something like that, but put something in your body, drink water, start the day from the purest form that you can, putting good things into your mind and good things into your body. The other thing I’ll say is be kinder to yourself in terms of taking care of your body. It’s so important that we go to the doctor that we get physicals. People might say, oh, I’m 25, I’m 30 years old. I don’t really need to do that.
(18:11):
Well, yes you do. It’s important just to have that checkup, right? Check in with your mind and check in with your body to see how you’re doing and share that with your peers. Oftentimes, it’s hard to open up to other people. I tell people, get yourself a starting five. What does that mean? We need five people in our lives that we can trust. It could be a doctor, it could be a confidant, a spouse, a girlfriend, whomever you feel like you can trust, a pastor, a life coach. Make sure that there are a few people that you can check in with on a regular basis about mind and body health because not all of your friends will understand and get it, but you need to surround yourself with life-minded individuals, and take charge of your life when you are at a young age. And as you’re starting to grow and your body starts to change, join support groups and don’t keep that information to yourself.
(19:03):
The other thing I would say is also find healthy ways to cope. For me, when I was working in entertainment, it was a very, and I’m sure you can attest to this, it’s a very social industry. There’s always a dinner, there’s always a luncheon, a gathering or something. There’s always champagne and cocktails flowing. And for me, sometimes when I was sad, I would turn and drink a cocktail instead of finding a healthier way to cope. So learning what you enjoy to do, whether that’s exercising, swimming, going fishing, even traveling for me kind of sets my mind and spirit free. So kind of tap back into your inner self and find what things work for you. Again, it is all about finding healthier ways to cope. And I wish I had have had some of those ideals, if you will, and principles and things that I stood on when I was a young girl working in entertainment.
(19:57):
It was just work, work, work, work, work. Amen. I sacrifice so much my mind, body, my family, missing family events and different things. And now here I am 53 years old, my sister’s deceased, my mom’s gone, and I’m just kind of resetting my life right now, if you will. And so you got to be more kinder to yourself. You have to learn how to have healthy ways to cope. You got to try to eat and do the best you can. And that’s not to say everybody’s going to be perfect there. You get your cheat days in, but it’s about having, and I don’t even really believe in work life balance. I think it’s work life rhythm, because life is going to life. You’re going to have changes, you’re going to have ebbs and flows, and you’re going to have good days and bad days, but it’s about trying to weave in those healthy practices to try to help you along the way so that you can actually try to do the absolute best that you can and have those accountability partners that can encourage you to pour into your mental health or to pour into your physical health.
(20:58):
Again, that is why I love you all newsletters, Black health matters. You’re always bringing so many important things, whether it is mental health or physical health to the forefront for our community. And it’s those great reminders. And so yeah, subscribe to your newsletter so that you can know what’s going on. But we have to educate ourselves and we really do have to care about it because the one thing I can say is I’ve lost a lot of people over the years, whether it was due to mental health challenges or just physical health challenges, and their bodies succumb to diseases. And it is up to us because we know that there’s so much in this world that makes it hard for us to have access to good healthcare, to have access to good clinicians and good therapists. And so we have to really educate ourselves and try to stay in tuned as much as we can.
(21:46):
And we have to advocate for ourselves as Black folks. We know when we go to the doctors and hospitals all the time, we don’t always get the outcome that we want, and sometimes we don’t ask the right questions. So educate selves, support organizations like Silence, shame, who are out there trying to educate you about mental health and wellness, and put you towards the resources and all these other great organizations that are doing good work. It really is up to us to take care of our minds and our bodies. And of course, spirit is always constant in my life. So, mind, body, and spirit are actually a real thing. It’s not just a cliche and something that I say absolutely, and that is how I live my life, and I just want people to be more kinder to themselves and just try to live by those moments.
(22:31):
I think that’s why what I ended up calling my organization is so important because, and again, going back to Dr. J Barnett, he’s so profound. Y’all should look him up. King j Barnett on Instagram, he said something else. He said, shame loses power when it’s exposed. That’s good. Whether you expose it to a lot of people or to one person, you are silencing that shame within your own life. So get the help that you need. It is nothing to be ashamed about, nothing to be embarrassed about. And to your point, we are in the business of saving lives. We don’t want anybody to think that suicide is an option, although we know some people do succumb to it. And as I was saying, even with my own father, I forgave my father years later because I realized my dad was sick and he wasn’t in his right frame of mind.
(23:17):
I know he wouldn’t have willingly left his wife and three young children, but he was struggling and he was sick. And so I just want people to be healthy. I want us to have healthy minds, healthy bodies, but we got to do the work. And it starts with us standing up for ourselves and giving ourselves grace and showing up for ourselves as we show up for everybody else. We show up to that job every single day, or we show up on the weekend to the little league with our kids, show up for yourself. Stop. Especially Black women, I’m talking to you. Everything else. Stop putting yourself rather on the back burner for everybody else because when we are dead and gone, life continues. And people will say, oh,
Corynne Corbett (24:03):
That part right there.
Shanti Das (24:05):
I loved her. Karen was amazing, but oh, I got to book this flight. I got this trip going. Life goes on.
Corynne Corbett (24:12):
Very true. So
Shanti Das (24:13):
Take care of ourselves while we are here, while we’re trying to take care of the rest of the world, we still got to take care of ourselves. So you got to budget in time for you, just like you do everybody else.
Corynne Corbett (24:23):
And I’m going to add one more thing. Stop holding grudges over little things.
Shanti Das (24:28):
Oh, yes. Because that leads to stress and anxiety, which can, here’s the
Corynne Corbett (24:33):
Thing,
Shanti Das (24:34):
Mental or physical health challenge,
Corynne Corbett (24:36):
Right? Because if it’s not life and death, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter.
Shanti Das (24:41):
That’s right.
Corynne Corbett (24:43):
Hundred percent and of the day, it does not matter. And that’s what grand scheme, that’s the thing. If you have not been through really hard challenges, you don’t learn that lesson until it’s really too late.
Shanti Das (24:56):
That’s right. And I’ll tell you, Corynne, I used to get so stressed out, even just at the red light or people driving so crazy, and it would just totally change my mood and the way I approach things for the rest of the day. And so now sometimes when people stress me out, I use this breathing technique called the 4 4 8. And instead of yelling expletives at somebody, I’ll breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, and then do a long exhale for eight. And I’ll do several repetitions of that. And it really is a good way to recenter myself. And to your point, it’s like not sweating the small stuff. I’ll just do a breathing technique like, you know what? You’re not going to steal my joy. You’re not going to steal my peace today. No, and that is a great point. And it’s a good way to live. Right?
Corynne Corbett (25:45):
Well, tell us how we find silence to shame.
Shanti Das (25:49):
Yeah. So you can find silence to shame on our website@www.silenceshame.com. You can follow us on Facebook at Silence th Shame, or you can follow us on Instagram at Silence the Shame.
Corynne Corbett (26:06):
And
Shanti Das (26:07):
If you want to relate to our organization, we are a 5 0 1 C3 nonprofit. You can text the word silence, S-I-L-E-N-C-E to 7 0 7 0 7 oh,
Corynne Corbett (26:19):
Okay. And then the podcast.
Shanti Das (26:22):
Yeah, saying you can listen to the mibo Show. You can binge season one, or you can check out season two. Again, that’s launching in May at the the mibo, MIBO show. It’s on YouTube for the video version or at the Mi IBO show on all audio platforms for podcasts.
Corynne Corbett (26:40):
Wonderful.
Shanti Das (26:41):
Please make sure to
Corynne Corbett (26:42):
Subscribe and rate us as well. Wonderful. Shanti Das, thank you so much for joining me today. Make sure you follow Silence to Shame and watch the Mibo Show. Folks. Thanks again. Thank you. Have a good day.
